I originally planned to head out for a shoot with a friend today, but after finishing my makeup and staring into the mirror for ages, I was honestly on the verge of tears from how awful it looked. Maybe I'm just in an off-slump recently or out of practice, but the foundation felt cakey, the eyeshadow blending looked muddy, and even the wig sat a bit flat against my scalp. This photo is obviously heavily retouched—skin smoothing, face slimming, color grading, and boosting the crown volume—to make it barely presentable. Truthfully, looking at raw photos after every cosplay makes me spiral into deep self-doubt, even sparking thoughts like 'maybe I should just cut back on cosplaying.' After all, from buying wigs and picking costumes to test-makeup and going out to shoot, prep work eats up an entire weekend, and adding retouching time makes the effort-to-reward ratio feel completely disproportionate at times.
But on second thought, the exact moment I slip into a character's costume and put on the wig, there is truly a wonderful sense of ritual. This time I cosplayed Ichigaya Arisa from BanG Dream!—I really love her personality, that tsundere yet earnest drive that mirrors my own occasional insecurities and stubbornness in real life. While my makeup didn't turn out well today, I'm very pleased with the costume details: the sailor collar paired with the red bow, styled with twin tails for a warm overall tone that looks soft and gentle. To recreate that Casual cosplay everyday vibe, I deliberately set up warm amber lighting so the frame wouldn't feel harsh.
In fact, cosplay feels more like a 'transformation' experience to me. Standing before the camera, I subconsciously adjust my demeanor to imitate the character's gaze and mannerisms; even for a simple pose like resting my chin on my hand, I tested multiple angles just to achieve a natural yet subtly lazy feel. This is probably the true charm of cosplay: allowing me to briefly step out of my daily routine and experience living as a character from another world.
As for whether to reduce how often I cosplay, I'll probably just go with the flow. Sometimes when inspiration strikes, even in a bad state, I still want to document it. After all, editing photos is part of the fun—watching myself gradually transform an imperfect raw photo into the ideal vision brings a very genuine sense of achievement. Although this picture is heavily edited, the costume textures, the flow of hair strands, and the color coordination of makeup were all adjusted by me step by step, so it doesn't feel entirely fake.
Even though I didn't go out for an on-location shoot today, taking photos in front of the lens at home ensured this makeup didn't go to waste. Next time, I hope to head out earlier and find a location with better lighting to capture that stubborn yet gentle essence of Ichigaya Arisa even more accurately. As for my condition, I'll adjust slowly—after all, who hasn't had off days where their hands just wouldn't cooperate? As long as I can still find a bit of joy in cosplay, that is more than enough.